There was a time, however distant and quaint it was, that the movie theater was a necessary part of the movie-watching equation. The majority of people either didn't have the means or the technology of watching a movie in their home. That has changed.

With the rising affordability of flat screen televisions (in high definition, no less), projectors, surround sound and other home-theater equipment, the common person has never had such a chance of home entertainment.

Face it. The quality of movie theaters is unacceptable. It starts at the box offices. For the price of admission for a couple of two adults, they could just buy the DVD. By their own design, DVDs have a higher quality picture (they're not shown on reels, for starters) and they can be watched as many times as the viewer can handle. They can be paused at any moment and they can be watched in the comfort and privacy of the viewer's own home.

The problem progresses at the concession stand. Why would anyone in their right mind pay four dollars for a soda? It's possible to buy or make anything at the concession stand for far cheaper than what they are asking.

In the theater, there's the problem of cleanliness. Sticky seats? Tough luck. People talking? Too bad. Hard to see? Cell phones ringing? Forget about it.

Theaters were once a necessary means of watching movies. Today, it's just not worth it.

I was prompted to write this post after seeing the new Pirates of the Caribbean movie. It's hard to believe that the theater could be so shitty. It was small and crowded. Why don't they just release movies to DVD? Reviewers and movie critics could still write about which movies are good. The whole institution is just unnecessary.

"Walking through the garment center, Cully felt disgust at the dirtiness of the city and the pinched, haggard faces walking its streets. Hand trucks, loaded with brightly colored cotton dresses gallowed from metal racks, were being pushed by black men or old-timers with the seamed red faces of alcoholics. They pushed the hand trucks through the streets like cowboys, stopping traffic, almost knocking down pedestrians. Like sand and tumbleweed of a desert, the garbage of discarded newspapers, remnants of food, empty pop bottles caught in the truck wheels, washed over their shoes and trouser cuffs. The sidewalks were so clogged with people you could hardly breathe, even in the open air. The buildings looked cancerous, grey tumors rising to the sky."

Fuck. That's good. I like it, at least. Will I ever be able to write like that? It's a selection from Fools Die by Mario Puzo, the author of The Godfather. I read that paragraph last night and just thought about how vivid of a scene it was.

My writing is going downhill. I haven't been in a real class since December and I sure as hell haven't been writing since then. My story is stillborn at 5200 words. I have ideas--I just lack motivation. Maybe I'll write this weekend. Maybe I won't.

Either way, I'm glad it's Friday.

Newt Gingrich, the former US House Speaker, has said that we have entered World War III. In case you haven't heard of the other couple, check out this, this, and, uh, oh yeah, this.

If you can imagine, the world right now is teetering on the brink (of cliches, Tom?) of war. With the United States clowning around in Iraq and Afghanistan, North Korea shootin' off missiles, Iran up to no good, Syria possibly allying with Iran, and Israel playin' Clint Eastwood, it seems we have ourselves a problem.

If the whole world comes to war again, I do not want to be a part of it. Maybe I can move to a little island where I can live by the shore and not hear a word about it until it's over. I don't want to fight and I don't want to send my children to fight. Is that so bad?

It's too late to say this isn't about oil. Afghanistan wasn't, Iraq might not have been, but if there are serious conflicts (which, it seems, is the case), the United States would be forced to move in and control the area. Without oil, America would be crippled. According to this little gem, America uses one out of every four barrels of oil produced. Fossil fuels production has peaked, and the world will be watching as the US fights for the last few black drops.

For as technologically advanced as we are, we should be a lot more advanced in the ways of alternative energies. Europe is far better suited for an oil crisis. America, partly because of its size and partly because of its infrastructure--that is, its dependency on long distance transportation of goods (which is necessary for our economy)--is le fucked.. That being said, America will have to defend its economy to remain a world power.

That being said, this world is going to hell in a hand basket.

This post may come as a shock to you. I think it's the first serious one there's ever been. No kidding.

Speeding to the eastern end of the country on one of England’s fastest trains, I realized that within five minutes of meeting a friend of a friend I’m telling her about my dental history. Am I boring? Have I become that person, the very self-deprecating, pity-partying, attention hound whom I loathe?

Halfway across the world and a week and a half later, I was vulnerable: I was in a reluctant sprawl in my dentist’s office with a dentist to my right and an oral hygienist to my left. I was being prodded, poked, and probed by hooked metallic objects that would probably be more suitable in husbandry than in dentistry. The dentist made noises of intrigue during the process, lots of “hmms” and “mmhmms.” Allow me to explain why this is noteworthy.

Due to my excessively strange sense of humor, I have decided that having a minor inflammation of the gums was simultaneously one of the more hilarious and equally terrifying diseases in the field of medicine. No, it’s not gangrene, but it’s no scraped knee either.

I don’t have bad hygiene habits, either. Please, for the love of God, don’t think that. I can brush, floss, and rinse with the rest of them. I think I have bad genes. My uncle, coincidentally (and irrelevantly) a Californian, has had the infliction as well.

It seems to be like a right of passage to us Hanlons. We’re a good people, if you can look past our dental shortcomings.

On the bright side, though, I don’t have gingivitis. I have minor irritation and that’s it. I’ll keep fighting the good fight, don’t you worry about me.

Hi friends.
It's been a while since I've posted and there have been many changes in my life. I will present these changes now in a list format:

1. I'm now living in Chicago. This will be different in one week, when I move to Florida for the month of July to work.

2. My camera broke. I can't take pictures until my cell phone comes in later this week.

3. Today we went to this restaurant for lunch called 41 North. It was very mediocre. Things tasted microwaved. And the portions were too big. And our waitress was needlessly informative ("I'll be over in a sec, I just have to change someone's order.")

That's about it. I've been laying low pretty much otherwise. I rented Arrested Development from Blockbuster. Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious.

I just finished my second essay.

I am hugely excited.

In more tragic news, my camera broke. It'll be a while before I get some new pictures up.

Darn.

Victory.

I've finished one http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.link.gifessay. I have one more to do and then I am done until August. I'm very excited.

It's been a couple days since I've posted last. I had some problems with blogger (the godforsaken website which uploads to here) so I couldn't get on. Anyways, there have been several recent developments in my life.

In the criminal affairs department, all of the residents of flats G2 and F2 of Loring Hall have been asked to meet for interviews over the theft of recent artwork. Who knows about that?

This weekend we're going to Brighton, a lovely beach community on the coast of England. I might be going to the white cliffs of Dover on Friday if I get my Kosovo essay done in time.

I'm excited to go home. I come home June 17th. I've had a great semester here. I've loved it.

I'll get a picture up tonight. I love all of you.